


Scotty's Mom Has Got it Going On

by thirdfinger



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-02
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-25 09:01:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/951219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirdfinger/pseuds/thirdfinger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scott finds a pregnancy kit in the bathroom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scotty's Mom Has Got it Going On

**Author's Note:**

> Hokey smokes! It's been a long time since I last wrote fan-fiction. Words feel clunky. Hopefully I've managed to assemble something amusing! =D

Scott wasn't exactly awake. He's tried to maintain the careful balance between sleep and consciousness that would allow him to empty his bladder and immediately fall back asleep when he returns to his bed. He is a sleep-peeing master of the splashy arts and that is why it took a few minutes of swaying in front of the toilet before he registered what was different in the bathroom.

For starters, it wasn't his bathroom; it's too clean. Also, he had to raise the toilet seat. Thirdly, there was a box in the garbage beside the toilet. The box packaging featured a lot of pink.

The lizard part of Scott's brain that tries to keep him safe on an instinctual level frantically tried to distract him away from the box. Pink boxes in the garbage of the bathroom he shares with his mom often contain brain-searing information about his mom he doesn't need to know.

For example, he didn't need to know that his mom gets a yeast infection whenever she takes antibiotics. He didn't really need to ever know about yeast infections. Or periods. Or combinations of the two.

But it was too late. The packaging had the words, 'First Response' on it and that set off alarm bells in his head. 'First Response' sounds like something to do with triage! Was his mom hurt? Did somebody hurt her bad enough she needs special medicine and bandages or something?

Before his lizard brain can protest he had the box in his hand and he read, 'First Response Pregnancy Test - The only test that tells you 6 days before your missed period'.

You'd think being a werewolf would mean you'd never feel woozy.

Scott woozed.

 

\---

"Uh, mom?" Scott tried to be nonchalant as he leaned against the fridge. "Are you... dating anyone?"

Melissa glanced at her son and went back to packing her lunch. "Would it bother you if I was?"

"Maybe," he admitted. "Not that I don't think you totally deserve to be happy and date and stuff!"

She shot him a look. "Well, if you must know, I've started seeing Mr. Hale, again." 

"What? Why?"

Melissa gave Scott a little shove to move him out of the way as she opened the fridge door. "Because he asked me out? And, despite what you might think, Scott, I don't get a lot of people asking me out on dates."

"But, mom! He's so... uh, creepy. He's a werewolf, you know? He's Derek's uncle and... he's sorta crazy."

"Pffft," Melissa rolled her eyes. "Everything about werewolves is 'sorta crazy', honey. And I know he's Derek's uncle, we talk about you boys sometimes. Don't worry, okay?" She patted Scott's face as she closed the fridge door. "He's not going to turn me into a werewolf."

"You don't know that for sure!"

"Scott, this is ridiculous. He's a charming man who enjoys my company and he always pays for dinner. I enjoy going out with him. End of story."

"Mom..." He knew he'd regret asking but... "Uh, do you two... you know," he lowered his voice, "..have..."

She covered his mouth with her hand. "Ask me no questions I'll tell you no lies. Now, I've got to get to work. There's groceries in the fridge and I don't need you to bring me dinner tonight because I'm trying to be healthy." She held up her packed lunch. "Be good, okay?" She kissed his forehead and headed out the door. If it seemed like she was in a rush it was probably because she was.

Scott stared after her with a sinking heart. For a long moment he stood there looking forlorn then his resolve hardened. Clearly, he had to get some answers if he was going to protect his mom!

 

\---

"I don't see how it's any of your business, Scott." Peter Hale looks far too calm for a man with a worked up alpha trying to stare him down. "And I don't think it's very diplomatic of you to bring it up in front of the whole pack." He made a sweeping gesture to encompass Isaac and the newly returned Derek and Cora. Isaac and Cora were sitting on the sofa; Cora seemed to lounge with deadly intent and Isaac had his feet tucked up and his chin resting on his knees. Derek was standing beside Cora with his arms crossed over his chest.

"She's my mom!" Scott felt his voice strain a bit. "You can't just go around knocking up people's moms!"

Peter froze and his confident smile seemed to sag. "Knocking... up...?"

Scott immediately looked horrified he'd let that slip. "Forget I said it! Forget I said anything!"

"Melissa's pregnant?" Peter's look of shock turned into a big, smarmy, proud grin. "Should I start calling you, 'son', now or wait until after she says, 'yes' to my proposal?"

A roar of rage answered his question.

"Calm down," Derek said. His face, as per usual, gave away nothing. "We have no proof Peter is the father."

"What?" Peter said as Scott asked, "Who else could it be?"

Isaac tentatively raised his hand. "Um, we didn't use a condom this onetime..." His voice wavered as everyone's attention focused on him. He squirmed under the glare of three alphas. "I've always been very grateful for her... kindness... and, um, she's gorgeous."

Peter laughed. It was a hoarse, disbelieving sort of laugh. "I can't believe it! She never even mentioned she was dating you!"

Isaac smiled nervously but he didn't take his attention away from the real threat in the room; Scott. "Oh, um, we don't date. No dates. No dating. Just, uh..." He cringed under Scott's crimson glare. "Just sex?"

"WHAT?" Scott was halfway across the coffee table before Derek caught him around the waist and hauled him back.

"Get a grip, Scott! Killing Isaac won't help you figure out who the father is! It could be any of us!"

Scott's blood ran cold. Then hot. Then it boiled over. "ANY OF YOU? DEREK?"

Derek didn't even have the good manners to look embarrassed. "She has nice legs."

"She really does," Peter said amicably. Isaac nodded his agreement but he was chewing on his sleeve.

"She smells really nice, too," Isaac said. "Like warm cookies."

Peter, Derek, and Isaac all looked wistful for a moment. "Yeah," they sighed in unison.

Scott left them in a groaning pile of blood and bruises.

 

\---

When Scott showed up at Stiles' place his best friend was full of breakfast cereal and Adderall. "Scott! You have to watch Ponies with me!"

"I've got more important things to think about than ponies, today." Scott said moodily and sat down on Stile's bed.

"Aw, buddy, is something wrong?" Stiles put his arm around Scott's shoulders and tugged him into a one-armed hug. "Tell me all about it."

"Dude, everybody's been banging my mom! Peter... Derek... Isaac... And I found a pregnancy kit in mom's bathroom this morning! One of those guys could be the father of my unborn brother or sister!" For the first time in a long time Scott felt like he needed his inhaler. It was so hard to breathe!

"What?" Stiles marched over to his desk and whipped his cell phone into his hand. He immediately started texting. "I can't believe it!"

"I know, right?" Scott looked miserable. "How could this be happening? They're my pack! She's my mom! This shouldn't even be a possibility!"

"I can't believe your mom's been sleeping around behind my back!" Stiles said as he texted. "I'm giving her a piece of my mind!"

"Whu-whut?" Scott felt his world tip sideways. 

"Oh, yeah, I totally had my sexual awakening with your mom, like, three months ago? Man, she's gorgeous! She's even more gorgeous naked. Her legs are really her best feature. It's a shame she wears scrubs every day because, let me tell you, she can rock a miniskirt."

"No! No, you're my best friend!"

"And now I get to be your best friend and, maybe, step-father, buddy! It's the most awesome thing ever! Aw, I hope the baby's mine. I'm gonna be a great daddy. Ugh, I guess this means I should get a job. Well, maybe your mom'd be okay with me being a house-husband... what do you think? Think she'd go for it?"

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

"Sheesh, okay. I'll get a job." 

 

\---

Scott woke up covered in sweat. His sheets were tangled up in a ball on the floor. Dawn was just starting to light up his bedroom.

Everything should have been quiet but he could hear a quiet conversation downstairs.

His mom... no. No! It was just a dream. It couldn't have been real, right?

The front door opened and he risked looking out his window to see who was leaving. Now that they were outside he could clearly hear Peter Hale talking with his mother.

"I hate having to sneak around like this, Melissa."

"I know, Peter. I'm sorry to have to ask you to be so discreet. It's just Scott..."

Peter sighed, "I know. I respect your motherly instincts on this one. Although, I think Scott would take it better than you'd think. We've gotten to know each other much better. He hardly ever attacks me now."

"How... reassuring?"

Scott gagged when he realized the sudden lull in conversation meant they were kissing. On his front porch. Right under his open window.

"Well, I should go. When are we going to tell him?" Peter asked.

"Soon," Melissa answered. "I hope he'll be happy to have a father again."

"Oh, I'm sure he will be."

Scott felt the floor fall away from his feet and he woke up.

Again.

He felt his chest then his face then the bed to make sure everything was real. He pinched himself.

"Scott?" His mom opened his door and stuck her head in. "I'm going to work, honey. Bring me dinner tonight?"

"Uh, yeah, okay." Melissa went to close the door and Scott panicked, "Mom! Mom wait!"

The door opened again, "What? What's wrong?"

"I just... you're not dating Peter Hale again, are you?"

"The charming, but creepy, werewolf who came back from the dead and might be a zombie now? That Peter Hale?"

"Yeah," Scott said weakly.

"No, honey. I'm not dating Peter Hale. Or any Hales."

"Are you dating anybody?"

"Why the sudden interest?"

"Please, mom, just answer the question." He wasn't whining. It just... sounded like a whine.

"Well, it just so happens I am going out tomorrow night. It's just an informal dinner and don't worry, there won't be any hanky-panky."

Melissa sighed as Scott, bless his face that was incapable of deception, tensed up. "I'm going out for dinner with Stile's dad and Mr. Argent. You know, to celebrate surviving the root cellar together."

"Okay." 

Melissa kissed his forehead. "I'm perfectly safe with those two, okay, Scott? Now, I've got to run or I'll be late. Don't forget, bring me dinner!"

Scott waited until he heard her car drive away before he flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling.

He could never sleep again. If he slept he might dream. If he dreamed... it might be about a parental threesome!

There was only one cure. He had to call Stiles and spread the fear around.


End file.
